Do It for Damon

We can all look back on our lives and remember moments that changed the path we thought our lives were on. Sometimes those moments occurred after we made a big decision, but sometimes those moments happen when others make choices that change our lives forever.

On January 19, 2021 our 13 year old son, Damon, made the decision to end his life. That moment and many moments in the following days, weeks, and months truly changed the trajectory of my life. In those first few days, I remember saying over and over, "I'll never be the same." Four and a half years later, I can confidently say that I'm not.

I've read that suicide is oftentimes an "impulsive decision made in a moment of crisis." I believe those words to the depth of my being. I also believe that the person experiencing a mental health crisis, may feel hopeless or alone or desperate. Maybe they don't have the words to ask for help or don't know how to access the help they need.

After Damon died, my family and I were blessed beyond measure with support from family, friends, and an entire community. I remember looking around at his grieving friends and thinking, "We can't let this happen to anyone else".

Damon and I were very close. We had a lot of hard conversations as he was growing older. He knew he could tell me anything. But he chose not to have the most important one with me. I'm not sure why, and I'll never know, but I feel strongly that his story needs to be shared.

I believe that every life was created for a beautiful purpose. Damon's life and his manner of death had purpose. Our family started Damon's Purpose, which is a community effort to spread awareness of mental health challenges and to break stigmas that surround them.

I never would have pictured myself standing in a room full of people sharing Damon's story, but I have had the privilege of doing just that several times now. I believe that sharing a story can connect with others. Knowing that someone else can relate may help others feel like they are not alone. I also recognize that more formal education is needed to break stigmas and better understand mental health.

In 2023, Manda Thompson and I became nationally certified to teach Teen Mental Health First Aid in high school classrooms. To date, we have co-taught nine classes at Centralia and Frankfort schools, and have three schools scheduled for this upcoming school year. We have also added two additional instructors, Angie Sauvage and Christine Merriman. They will be teaching the class at Onaga High School this year.

Damon should be starting his senior year this fall. He should be playing football, going out with friends, and planning his future. I think back to that cold January day 4 ½ years ago, and I wish that he would have found the words to ask for help. I wish that he had known where and how to ask for help.

Instead, my life and the lives of all our family and Damon's friends have changed forever. But I believe that we can use our experience to help others. As my family and I continue on our journey of healing, hope, and faith, I am blessed to share our story and meet new friends. I look forward to opportunities to educate and break stigmas that may be a barrier to receiving life-saving help.

If you or someone you love is experiencing a mental health challenge or crisis, please don't hesitate to reach out. You are not alone. Your life matters. Do it for Damon.